AMKent books

Part 2

Steven Bing: “Come closer, my child…”

Me: “Err, we are not children, we have been sent to you from the hotel by the manager.”

He turns, he is wearing clown makeup and is half-illuminated by the light seeping through the grate above his head.

Steven Bing: “I see, I wasn’t on the island, in fact, I don’t think it even exists. I mean, why would it? I certainly wouldn’t have been on it or any kind of list pertaining to it if it did exist anyway. So, yeah, it doesn’t exist, but if it did, which it doesn’t, then I wouldn’t, which I didn’t because it doesn’t.”

Melanie: “No, we are not here about an island; we need you to train us in basic magic so we can join the fight against Petra.”

He leans into the light, taking a good look at us both and stroking his chin.

Steven Bing: “You two are lovers, I can see it, love unites you both.”

We both look at one another, look back at him, and nod. He begins to walk around us, inspecting our very existence with a keen eye for detail.

Steven Bing: “Hmm, I see the passion in your hearts. Petra has wronged you; this is personal.”

Again, we both nod in silence.

Steven Bing: “There is a tree that lies outside of the town, it is intertwined with a bubble that has frozen over. Bring me a single fruit from this tree and I shall show you magic beyond even Petra’s comprehension.”

We both agree and begin to leave the sewers. As we do so, there is a gang of children walking from the way we came in. We awkwardly look back at Steven Bing, who ushers them in with open arms.

Steven Bing: “Come, younglings, we have a scene to practice for my big new play!”

We both continue out of the sewers and back into the town of bubbles with a new quest. The walk is not long, but the strange sensations of the bubble’s skin make every step feel overly cautious. Melanie, at one point, clings to me as she swears, she heard a popping sound, but it was just a man banging his shoes together outside his door. We reach the tree, there is a gap between the tree and the end of the town, and we are not sure how to cross it, as it is too large for a jump.

Melanie: “I am guessing this is some kind of bullshit magical test. Let’s just not go back. Why don’t we just find a way to leave this place and leave them all to it?”

Me: “Yeah, I agree, fuck this and fuck this place.”

We both turn around, and the entire town is gone; there is just a bubble that we both stand on, and the frozen bubble behind us. We look again at the tree, and the gap between our surface and its seems even longer now.

Me: “It’s like a sick joke.”

Melanie: “Ok, let’s brainstorm here. This place seems to parody our realm; it works on absurdity, and it is the least magical place for a place of magic possible.”

Me: “Right, you are smart. Also, the magic seems to require a spoken initiator, usually something ridiculous…”
Melanie: “Good, I knew keeping you around would come in useful.”

We both now turn to the tree, again, the gap between us and it has grown. We both have a thumby war to decide who attempts a spell first. I win, and Melanie tries to emotionally guilt-trip me, but it is futile.

Melanie: “NOMAKFROMBLADE2!”

An egg falls from the sky and into the void beneath us. Melanie shakes her head and signals my turn.

Me: “RENNIEPEPPERMINT!”

A lightning bolt hits the tree, but it is unfazed.

Melanie: “Oh shit, remember that one.”

Suddenly, something dawns on us both. These spells supposedly cost something. We are not exactly sure what they cost; it has never really been divulged, but it is supposed to be…Costly…

Me: “Ah, screw it. KEIRLLAMA!”

A bridge of communist manifestos forms to the frozen bubble; we both share a crisp, romantic, high-five, and proceed towards the tree.